Do you want more ? Are you giving constantly ? Are you warn out ? Tired ? Frustrated ? Are you wondering why ? Its because no matter the relationship, children, partner, clients, Manager, friends – every relationship has an energy circle and yours may be leaky.
Think of any relationship in terms of an energy ball. Relationships with your siblings, children, clients, partner, parents, family or colleagues.
Relationship change and alter over time. Think of adult children living at home. As 7 year olds they were dependant and in need of help. At 27 they do not need the same care.
If you have a 27 year old who you are cooking, cleaning and do everything for like they are 7 years old and they are not giving anything back you have a big leak in your relationship energy circle. All your energy, is leaking out, just like a container with a hole. No matter how much you fill up the container, its just running straight out of the hole in the bottom.
It’s easy to fix the leak once you are aware of it. The key to awareness is your emotions as these are flags. Your emotions are telling you that you have a leak in your relationship energy circle. It maybe with one relationship or it could be with all of your relationships.
All relationship energy circles need servicing just like your car to keep them running smoothly.
If we have a leak how do we fix it ?
- Self awareness is the key – if you are “feeling” emotions that are negative you have a hole ! These are your signs. Listen to your emotions, your body as its giving you a very clear message. Not sleeping, feeling frustrated or unappreciated….maybe invisible etc
- Ask yourself which relationship is the one you need to focus on. How do you eat an elephant ? One spoonful at a time. Start with one relationship at a time if you feel you have a few that need addressing. Get some help here there are plenty of coaches that can help you negotiate this area. Remember no need to reinvent the wheel.
- Check in with the person and ask “What is happening in your world?” It may not be about you and often it’s not. I work on the 80/20 rule with relationships. If 80% of the time its a great relationship then something changes – ask the question as sometime life gets in the way.
- Explain how you feel…..relationships are a two way street. If the relationship is all one way that’s why its leaky. Open the lines of communication and have a conversation about what you need from the relationship.
- Set your boundaries and stick to them – you may be giving mixed messages. Often our “people pleaser” comes out to play and we are giving unclear messages about what we need from the relationship.
- Giving, giving and more giving to a relationship without boundaries is not healthy or respectful to yourself. Think about yourself as your best friend. What would you tell your best friend about the relationship? Having self respect in a relationship will have others respecting you. It starts with how you feel about yourself and how you treat yourself.